I have been liquid
poured to fit many containers
daughter student sister partner friend
flowing into each to the contentment of its unwitting creator
a bottle of seawater bobbing around in the ocean
“safe” and afraid that to break is to sink
that the bottle is the only thing keeping me afloat, from getting swept away
I have been frozen
cutting through landscapes like an iceberg
leaving a path of destruction in my wake
too numb to acknowledge the wreckage left behind
a block of ice sculpted by the passage of time and hearts and betrayals
“safe” and afraid that to melt is to fade from existence
that my frozen exterior is the only thing keeping me from being shattered into a million pieces
I have been mist
existing without form
barely perceptible but as a slight shimmer in the air
a bit of moisture on the skin
a slight thickening of the atmosphere
“safe” and afraid that to condense is to give form to all of my fears
that to be nothing is to be safe from everything
by heat or by hammer the ice melts and the bottle breaks
the clouds form and the rains pour
and when the ripples subside
and the flood waters abate
I realize that all along
I have been the ocean